Marriages fail or succeed only with the intent of the people involved in it. A union that has friendship at its core reflects the true spirit of marriage. The enduring success of a good marriage involves in good part love, respect and compassion - indeed the elements of a strong friendship.
A married couple's friendship evolves with time. Marriage is different for each couple. But the basics remain the same. The couple "know each other intimately" and "are well versed in each other's likes, dislikes, personality quirks, hopes and dreams," "have an abiding regard for each other," express this esteem in many ways large and small, respect each other, and enjoy one another's company. Couples that gloss over this fact and thus fail to develop their friendship often come apart.
Married life has to be more than just survival or coping. It should inspire a sense of friendship, companionship, camaraderie, learning, togetherness and self discovery that can finally help in enriching one another's life, in dealing with everything that life throws at them and ultimately help make life better for each other.
Common issues in marriage that tilt it in favour of one partner gradually lead to all sorts of problems, feeding incompatibility, unresolved problems, breakdown in communication and a growing realization of differences.
If the marriage finds succour in deep friendship, the couple won't drift away. In fact, what helps nurture this friendship is the constant reassurance, whether through silent and verbal and other forms of communication that they are loved and accepted despite differences or problems and this positive feeling overrides everything.
Such couples do little things every day to stay connected sending out the message that they are extremely fond of each other, whatever may come. Happy marriages are based on a foundation of friendship.
Marriage is a leap of faith for some people, and in many ways a remarkable reinforcement that fuels the will to see each other through thick and thin and aspire to and achieve a strong, loving and lasting marriage.
How does your marriage in terms of friendship make you feel?