The ultimate relationship to have

Marriage is where life, happiness, contentment and friendship meet. Couples that espouse the values of marital friendship are also very familiar with each other's worlds - how they feel about things, their dreams, aspirations and worries, etc.

. Let there be no preconceived expectations, no pretentions. You have to learn to be real with each other.

. Trust each other. There is no place for deceit and trickery in a marriage.

. Be best friends with your spouse. Just like you could count on your best friend, be there for each other.

. Let your hair down, be yourself, let him/her BE. Complete acceptance and space, no pressure.

. Empathize. Put yourselves in each other's shoes and feel what each other is saying and feeling. A lot of things will start making sense to you.

. Respect one another's thoughts, opinions and beliefs. Without respect, there is a breakdown of love.

. Listen intently, and really listen. Often they do not seek your advice or comments, they just want you to hear them out.

. Don't criticize too much.

Negative communication patterns

Marriage is where life, happiness, contentment and friendship meet. Couples that espouse the values of marital friendship are also very familiar with each other's worlds - how they feel about things, their dreams, aspirations and worries, etc.

The most common dysfunctional patterns in communication identified are:

Pacifier: In this pattern, one partner pacifies the other to avoid his or her wrath, is forever trying to please the other, never disagreeing and even apologizing on the rarest of occasions that provoke the spouse's anger.
This surely will avoid conflict, but in a very artificial sort of way. Such marriages are devoid of any possibility of intimacy or bonding. There is no sharing your thoughts, feelings, and desires.

Egotist: In this, one partner appears strong and belligerent, never accepting blame, and never interested in what his/her spouse thinks. In reality, they are insecure and cover their emotional weakness by finding fault, nitpicking and carping.

Stoic: One partner is extremely stoic and concentrates on the reasoning angle in an argument, which he invariably wins. When his mate shows emotion, his averseness to the display of emotions becomes even more pronounced. This overbearing nature of one partner can cause an authentic relationship to die.

Shirker: In this, the partner has an ostrich-like attitude of ignoring problems, believing that if you ignore the issue, it will go away. Chickening out of potentially argumentative conversations and changing the subject to something unrelated in a discussion, the partner reveals an insecure and a jittery side. In fact, the problem never goes away; it simply becomes a barrier to marital intimacy.