Married couple can apply team values to deal with life's constant challenges and demands. To work together effectively, they must possess good communication and negotiating skills. Couples that can't work together, can't negotiate will end up frustrated and not very happy.
The following pointers will help you work as a team:
1. Encourage open and honest communication.
Though a challenge for every married couple, there needs to be ample breathing space for both partners to be able to express his feelings and opinions freely to each other. If any degree of dysfunction creeps into a couple's communication style, it can affect their ability to work together as a team.
2. Learn to negotiate all rules, roles and responsibilities.
Couples are always prone to be under the influence of a power struggle. The most sensible way out is to negotiate a solution that works for both persons living together. Negotiation is also part of the bedrock of good communication between husband and wife. If a couple can't negotiate, it's very unlikely they will stay married for long.
3. While dealing with problems, be respectful and patient.
It is important to be very conscious of your emotional state and tone of voice when you broach any issue with your spouse. An attacking stance, an aggressive build-up may lead to a harsh end.
Bring sensitivity to the entire discussion. Issues should be approached in a soft manner as opposed to harsh start-ups. The fact is if it starts out with anger, it will most likely end with anger.
3. Labeling and negative emotion.
In this, one partner resorts to negative emotion, such as anger, anxiety and sadness to influence or manipulate the other partner. Labelling habits - partners resorting to demeaning labels such as 'lazy', 'stupid', 'boring' 'annoying' - to describe him or her may have to pay a heavy price.
Researchers increasingly press on the importance of understanding our emotions and handling them in a healthy way.
Conflict and negative emotions arise from one’s expectations not being met. Our expectations are unwittingly listed out at the back of our mind whether we realize it or not and when are sort of possessed we do need to sit back and figure out what expectation on our list is not being met, see if it’s a reasonable expectation and if not, get rid of it.
4. Confront all problems before you start feeling resentment towards your spouse.
In order to stay current there must be a good measure of trust and communication between the two of you.
Bringing things up sooner rather than later is an important way of building trust as opposed to resentment. Each partner also learns over time that it is okay for them to come up with problems or a volley of questions/ a list of issues that are bothering you.
This way your everyday conversations will not be clouded by a feeling of resentment. You and your spouse can become a powerful team, able to confront life's many challenges with strength, cooperation and mutual trust.
How well do you know each other?
How well do you know the little details of your spouse's life? Linger on this.
As a married couple, what are your strengths, weaknesses, and what do you think you need to do to be more "friendly" with one another?
Some of the most personal habits and preferences, experiences, dreams and aspirations, quirks of your partner should be familiar to you. Answer each question as True or False.
. I can name my partner's best friends.
. I know the kind of life my partner aspires to.
. I am very familiar with my partner's sensibilities.
. I can list the books my partner loves most.
. I ask my partner about her professional life?
. I feel my partner knows me fairly well.
. I know my partner's taste in the arts and music.
. I know something about her vacations in childhood.
. I am aware of the kind of people my partner relates to.
. I can vividly recount my first impressions of my partner.
. I know how my partner would react if he/she were caught in a sticky situation.